A Glorious Triumph

Melanie had no idea how much time had passed since she entered the arena.  Seconds felt like minutes, minutes like hours, hours like seconds again.  Her body was aching and she felt exhausted, but she had no time to stop or slow down.  Since realising this was no longer just normal training her mentor had been relentless in sending in more and more people to try to throw her off, even creatures such as gremlins and imps.  Melanie was in an unstoppable rhythm.  Heads were being cracked in, people were falling all around her as she danced non-stop to avoid their attacks and used her staff to knock them off their feet with one swift swoop before hurling balls of ice and fire at them.

Her mentor watched with awe and joy even though his volunteers were falling like flies all over the arena.  The scholars who were on standby for heals looked both shocked and worried, shocked at how well Melanie was holding herself against the onslaught, and worried that the mentor was taking a step too far.

Eventually the final opponent fell to the ground with a groan.  Melanie continued to spin around looking for more unexpected arrivals to try to make their move.  She was now running on pure adrenaline.  Her face and hair was covered in sweat, her heart was racing, her senses were on ultra high alert for any noise besides the groans of her felled opponents.  When it became clear there was nobody else entering the arena she collapsed on her knees panting loudly.  Her head began to swim as the adrenaline rushed from her body leaving her feeling utterly exhausted.  Behind her was the sounds of loud clapping as her mentor raised his hands high and applauded her.  Scholars raced onto the scene and began to tend to the wounded.  Even Melanie, despite her valiant efforts in fighting back, was covered in scratches, deep cuts and burns from the times she took damage, but she barely noticed a thing.  She couldn't even hear her mentor calling out praises to her as it all sounded muffled and distant in her ears.  Her eyes half closed as she took in slow deep breaths.  Everything felt out of place as if she wasn't really there and was looking at everything through a small lens.

Her mentor slapped her across her back with a joyful grin on his face, bringing her back to her senses.  "Never 'ave I seen such a show in so many moons!" the mentor gasped excitedly.  "Ye truely outdone yerself Brovola.  This is what true trainin' is all about, pushin' ye to yer limits!  I 'ave no doubts in me mind now that ye are ready to face Satasha."

Melanie looked up at him still feeling weak from her exertion.  "Really?  You think I'm ready?" she said in an exhausted and slightly broken voice.

The mentor nodded at her.  "As long as ye don't start slackin' and keep up with yer trainin', I would vouch ye could even become as strong as th' Champion of Eorzea 'erself" he said with a slight wink.

Melanie made a slight smile despite feeling even too exhausted for that.  A couple of scholars ran to her side and began to tend to her, their healing light slowly mending the wounds on her body and restoring some of her strength.  Most of the pain had now subsided but her body still felt very weak as the scholars helped her to get back onto her feet again.  The mentor grabbed hold of her in an arm lock almost dragging her off her feet and began to chuckle to himself.  "Ye may 'ave preformed like a true warrior today lass, but mark me words things don't get any easier from 'ere on.  Ye still have a long ways to go, but ye made incredible progress, and ye made me proud.  Ye should go take th' rest of the day off an' rest up.  Ye 'ave another long day ahead of yer t'morrow."

Melanie slowly shuffled towards the exit of the arena feeling a little proud of herself for finally making progress.  She had put every ounce of her energy into that fight and was not going to falter no matter how many hits she'd taken.  This was her opportunity to show that she was no longer going to let doubt get in her way, and it had paid off.  Though her body felt like she'd been thrown off the top of a mountain repeatedly she was thoroughly glad to have passed her early training.  She didn't even want to think about what tomorrow would bring, she just wanted to be glad it was over for now and take pride in her victory.

Stumbling down the corridor that lead back to the Hall of the Novice, Brovola could hear the familiar voices of her comrades gossipping among themselves.

"Did you see what she did?"

"I thought it was incredible!  The way she knocked that warrior off his feet with her staff and then smacked him in the face with a fireball, I was barely able to contain myself!"

"I thought it was hilarious when she stunned one of the thaumaturges with a lightning spell and blew his hat off.  No amount of scholary magic is going to fix that hairdo she left him with."

Melanie turned the next corner to see her comrades excitedly huddled together.  As soon as they saw her they raced over to her showering her with hugs and fist bumps.  "Brovola!  Wow, what you did was so amazing we can't stop talking about it!"  Suyaya said excitedly in high pitched tones.  "I had no idea you could be such a beast in the arena.  Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"I..." Melanie stumbled still too exhausted to even speak.

Reubemont could see clearly his friend and comrade was far too tired to take in all the excitement right now and gently took her arm.  "Come on, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest.  You look like you're about to pass out from exhaustion."

The rest of her comrades took note of Melanie's condition and began to calm down a little.  Holskwyb took hold of Melanie's other arm for some extra support and together they all made their way out of the hall.

Aleport wasn't that far away but for Melanie each footstep felt like she was wading through mud.  Even with her comrade's support her feet dragged with every step.  "Not far to go now" Suyaya said as they slowly approached the port's main archway.  Reubemont wasn't even sure Melanie would survive the boat ride back to Limsa as they walked under the stone archway to the small plaza.  Even teleportation which would've been a lot faster would be out of the question.  He ushered Melanie towards some stone benches nearby surrounding the dock's aetheryte crystal and sat her down.  The moment her weight was off her feet Melanie began to feel very drowsy and unable to keep her eyes open.  Reubemont sat down next to her and then gasped in surprise as she collapsed onto his legs.  "Brovola?  Brovola?" he said gently pushing her, but Melanie became unresponsive and his voice echoed into the distance until total silence.

--

Melanie's eyes slowly opened to familiar surroundings.  A bed, the rays of a dimming sun shining brightly through the large windows and sky light, the white stonework, the combination of decorative stone and wooden plank floors, her belongings carefully propped up against the side of the bed, and... the mating call of that annoying darned gull outside.  She was back in Limsa Lominsa.  She had no idea how she got there.  Last she remembered she was gazing up at an aetheryte crystal in Aleport and then everything went black.

Carefully she propped herself up and inspected her surroundings more thoroughly.  She was alone in the room.  Her body still ached from her training.  Swinging her legs to the side of the bed so she could sit up properly she groaned a little from the pain.  She raised a hand to one of her ears and tapped the linkpearl clipped against it.

"Reubemont, you there?" she said in a hushed tone.

"Brovola, you're awake!  How are you?" Reubemont's voice came across loudly and eagerly with a hint of relief.

"I'm okay, a little sore" Melanie replied.

"Well, it's great to hear you're doing better" Reubemont replied.  "If you're up for it why don't you come on down to the Drowned Wench?  We were all just relaxing here waiting to see if you'd wake up after you collapsed at Aleport."

"Yes of course, I'll be down in a minute."  Melanie lowered her hand and psyched herself up before pushing herself off the bed.  She could've refused and stayed in her room resting her body, but the loneliness and frustration of just lying there doing nothing would've gotten to her.  Ever since she'd began her path as an adventurer she'd been around people and had been busy fighting monsters, training, or running the occassional errand.  For someone who was known to be a lazy introvert she was no longer used to being alone and doing nothing, even if her body didn't feel up to walking.

She decided against taking the rest of her belongings.  They would be safe in her room.  It wasn't like she was going to go far anyhow.  She was just going to meet her friends at the inn and have dinner before the night settled in, so all that extra weight being carried around would've been for no reason.

Melanie closed the room door behind her and made her way towards the staircase that led into the Drowning Wench.  It was already early evening and the sounds of people coming home from their own adventures and celebrating their successes echo'd all throughout the city.  The noise was unbearably loud and rang in her ears along with lively bard music and the clinking of tankards and cuttlery.  She began to have second thoughts about leaving her room until she caught sight of her comrades sitting around a table with happy smiles on their faces.  They looked up to see her descending the stairway and waved eagerly to her to join them.

"Full glad am I to see you back on your feet again!" Suyaya said happily.  Johnas, Reubemont and Holskwyb nodded quietly, their faces shining with happiness.  "We're all happy to see you again" Reubemont added as Melanie took a seat at the table.  "We were all talking about what we saw back at the Hall of the Novice.  Where did you learn to fight like that?  We've never seen anything like it!" 

Melanie looked surprised and was a little lost for words.  She didn't think she did anything special back there, but as she thought back to the battle she started to understand why they were so amazed by what they saw.  She stepped beyond the boundaries of what was expected from a thaumaturge.  Normally thaumaturges would just stay in one spot whilst focusing all their mental energy on their spell casts.  Instead Melanie utilized everything she had, from casting quick magic which was nowhere near as powerful yet effective enough to distract and do small amounts of damage to her opponents, to using her staff to knock her opponents off their feet and becoming an extension of herself giving her better balance to evade and parry incoming attacks.  She was not without fault however as she had taken several blows and the exertion had almost killed her.  With further training she could perfect her abilities and not over-exert herself in combat.

"I did what I felt I had to do" Melanie replied. "I realised the training wasn't going to be fair so I tried to put everything into surviving as long as I could.  It just became natural to me as if my life depended on it."

"Well it sure was impressive" Johnas said.  It had been a while since Johnas had spoken up.  Normally he was very quiet and more recluse.  He was still a mystery to Melanie having rarely ever engaged in conversation and would shy away from most social gatherings, only ever showing up for breakfast or evening meals and drinks.  Melanie never questioned why having once been in his shoes for most of her life.

"I heard tomorrow they're finally going to let us enter Satasha" Holskwyb said before taking a sip from her tankard.

"Wow, really?!" Suyaya squeaked excitedly.

"Where did you hear that from?" Reubemont quizzed her.

"I was listening in to one of the mentors whilst everyone else was preoccupied watching Brovola.  I heard something about one final test before they let us go, but from the sounds of it they're convinced we're ready to face Captain Shardon and whatever else is waiting for us in there."

"Wow, this is all happening so fast" Melanie said a little nervously.  Even though her performance earlier that day seemed to impress everyone else she still was a little uncertain that this decision was a little premature and that 2 days just wasn't enough to prove they were capable fighters against a pirate captain and her crew.  "Once you tell yourself you can't do something you're sealing that deal"  Melanie remembered those words from that morning.  Perhaps whatever final test was awaiting her tomorrow would help her feel more assured with herself.  For now she wanted to keep a clear head and make sure she got plenty of rest ready for the next day, which meant going easy on the mead.

"Then let's drink for tomorrow and pray we don't let ourselves and our nations down!" Reubemont exclaimed loudly, standing up and raising a tankard high above his head.  Everyone else nodded and raised their tankards high before drinking down the syrupy contents.

An Appetite for Success

It was now day 2 of Melanie's training at the Hall of the Novice.  Her mentor watched her from across the arena grounds, his face expressing a mixture of doubt and curiosity as if trying to read her body language.  Melanie was displaying a lot of confidence in herself which left her mentor uncertain what to expect from her.

"It seems ye recovered after yesterdays' trainin', I wonder 'ow much of it ye remember an' if that smug look on yer face is just a bluff!" he yelled over to her.

Melanie stood her ground poised ready for action.   The mentor waved a hand over and her training partner from the day before entered the arena.

"ok, let's see what you got!" the warrior said as he positioned himself ready for an attack.

Unphased Melanie awaited for her opponent to make his move.  She knew his moves and how to avoid taking a beating, so now it was a waiting game for him to attack to decide what her next move would be.  She knew if she started casting now it would give him time to rush to her and knock her off her feet, so she had to time it right to catch him in the act of readying an assault himself.  And there it was, right on cue.  The warrior lowered his weapon and began to concentrate.  Melanie could sense a buildup of aether around him.  She knew immediately what this was.  Once the surrounding aether reaches its maximum charge the warrior would raise his weapon swinging it around him and slam it to the ground, causing a shockwave in front of him that would knock her over and cause severe injuries.  Whilst it would take him but a few seconds for the aether to fully charge it would give her ample time to just run from his line of sight and begin her own assault.  He would be far too focused concentrating on his abilities and blinded by the surrounding aether to realise what was happening before it was too late.

Melanie made her move and raced to his side and quickly tapped a fire aspect, launching a fireball into his direction.  The warrior still focused on his own attack didn't realise what was happening until his weapon slammed down to the floor.  "Huh?" he gasped whilst looking around only for his gaze to be met with a large fireball followed by another.  The warrior began to swing his weapon around, however from her training Melanie knew how to dodge his attacks and gingerly dodged his assaults.

"Not bad!" the warrior said under his helmet.  "But now I mean business, prepare yourself!"  The warrior began to relentlessly swing his weapon around.  Melanie was struck several times unable to dodge all of his assaults.  Thankfully the pain from being struck was nowhere near as bad as compared to receiving a heafty blow from an aetherically charged attack and Melanie had started to notice that the grazes from normal hits were superficial thanks to her iron skin from her previous training, however this still impacted the speed in which she was able to cast a spell.  Each hit interrupted her focus, needing her to concentrate for longer to build up enough energy to launch a fireball at him.  She needed another window where he would try to focus on another aetherically charged move before she could launch another barrage of fire aspected aether at him.  It didn't take long for him to do just that and immediately she ran from his view and began her chants.

"That's good 'nough!" the mentor called out as he watched the warrior fall to his knees defeated after being struck by multiple fire and ice attacks.  "Egads, ye learn fast!  Yesterday ye were crawlin' around like a milksop an' now ye be fightin' like a real warrior!  Let's see what else ye got up yer sleeve."

The warrior sheethed his weapon and hobbled away from the arena to receive attention from some nearby scholars.  He gave Melanie a quick pat on the shoulder as he departed from the arena to be replaced by another warrior, this time they were accompanied by a scholar.

"Th' rules are th' same, however this time ye got a healer t' watch out for.  Put too much attention on yer apponent an' ye shall pay fer not payin' attention to his healer consort.  Let's begin!"

Melanie poised herself as before.  Her attacks would be the same as before, but now she had to also keep her eye on the healer.  She knew she needed to take out the healer first.  It was a common move to make in all MMOs - take out the healers and the mages, then focus your attacks on everyone else leaving the tank for last due to their excessive amounts of defence and health.  Melanie watched intentively for the warrior to begin his move.  The scholar was also poised ready to begin healing him as soon as he took damage.  "Oh how little you underestimate me" Melanie thought to herself trying not to grin too much to give away her plan of attack.  The warrior lowered his weapon and the air began to crackle around him.  It was now time for Melanie's move!  Melanie raced to his side and to the scholar's surprise she faced the scholar and sent fireballs in her direction.  The scholar was knocked to the ground almost instantly in surprise having taken severe hits due to their lighter attire which offered very little in defense.  The warrior having now finished his assault and realising his healer was in danger began to charge towards Melanie.  Melanie had forgotten about him and was focussing her next assault on the scholar before she healed herself and was promptly knocked off her feet.

"Ack!" Melanie yelled out as she felt his axe blade strike across her back.  The mentor was about to call off the fight when Melanie pushed herself slowly back onto her feet and dusted off the dirt from her clothes.  "That was stupid of me" she thought to herself feeling a little cross at having not paid proper attention.  "ok, let's remember for next time.  The scholar still needs to go down first, but I also gotta watch for that warrior too so he doesn't interrupt my casts."  Melanie poised ready once again and the battle resumed.  This time there was going to be no mistakes.  Melanie planned her next move.  Once the warrior would start charging his ability she would dodge out of the way and begin assaulting the scholar.  This time however she would back away once she launched a couple of fireballs and ensure both the warrior and the scholar were both in her line of sight, and she would continue to move backwards to draw the warrior towards her and away from the scholar so he would be too far to receive any healing from her.

It was a solid plan, and it worked all too well once the warrior began his assault.  Without hesitation Melanie ran from his view and assaulted the scholar with a number of fireballs.  Hearing the explosion from behind her as the warrior slammed his weapon down she immediately stopped her assault and began to back away.  The warrior started to charge towards her swinging his weapon furiously.  The scholar realised what was happening all too late.  Quickly she began to cast healing spells on herself, but her healing magic was unable to counter the next barrage of fireballs as the warrior positioned himself for another aetherically charged assault leaving the poor scholar open to further attacks from Melanie.  The scholar collapsed defeated and the mentor waved his hand in the air to signal a cease to the battle.

"Bravo Brovla!" he cried out estatically.  "Ye took a hit an' ye didn't give up, an' ye took down yer opponent!  That's th' spirit!" 

Melanie lowered her staff and bent forward panting.  Another scholar ran to her aid and began to heal her wound on her back.   Melanie felt so proud of herself for finally overcoming her challenges.  It was like the man back at Swiftperch said, don't let failure be an affirmation that you can't do something.  But wow the amount of effort needed to keep on her toes was intense!

"Ye definitely improved lass" the mentor continued.  "I think ye are ready fer th' next test.  Ye think that last fight was a challenge?  Ye aint seen nothin' yet!"

The arena cleared way as another 3 trainers entered the floor.  This time it was a warrior, another scholar, and what looked to be a thaumaturge.

"Three against one?" Melanie questioned nervously.

"What, is three too many fer ye?" the mentor mocked.  "In real combat lass, people aint gonna come rushin'  at ye one at a time.  Ye gotta be prepared fer 'em comin' at ye all at once."

Melanie looked back at when she was ambushed by those 3 thugs the other day.  The fact she was able to fend them off all by herself without any training was pure luck.  Come to think of it despite their large builds they were pretty much amateurs themselves and probably got away with being intimidating enough that they bullied their victims into giving them what they wanted rather than actually getting into a fight.  Killing them was probably an overkill, but at the time she felt she had no other choice and acted purely in defense, especially when it sounded like they were going to...

"Enough talkin', let's see what ye got!" the mentor bellowed and made the signal for attack.  Melanie quickly freed herself from her thoughts and got into position.  "I'm guessing this is going to be the same as before.  The healer needs to go down quickly to avoid them healing the warrior, but that thaumaturge...their nukes can hurt a lot if I don't deal with them promptly, and the longer I leave them standing the more stuff they can inflict on me that I'll be half dead without them even needing to cast a single nuke.  Which means they need to go down first."  Melanie turned to face the thaumaturge and straight away began to chant a fire spell in their direction.  The thaumaturge realising they were being attacked first began to chant their own spell.  Before they could finish a fireball socked them in the face interrupting their cast momentarily.  Melanie was momentarily distracted with her successful assault when she remembered the warrior.  Any second now he was going to unleash his heavy attacks on her, and it looked like that was exactly what was about to happen.  But something else was also taking place, something Melanie wasn't prepared for.  The air around her was starting to heat up.  What was happening, did her magic go arwy and was causing the air to ignite?  Melanie looked around in a panic unsure what to do.

"What ye standin' around there for?  Get outta there!" the mentor yelled out to her.  Melanie glanced over to him bringing her back to her senses and she began to run.  Not a moment too soon either, the ground she had been standing on was beginning to turn molten and suddenly errupted into a plume of fire and molten rock that crashed back to the ground.  Melanie was knocked off her feet by the impact and rolled away staring in horror at the sight before her.  The mentor quickly waved his hand to call off the battle and slowly walked over to Melanie.  "Why didn't ye run when ye sensed th' danger lass?" he said to her in a slightly disappointed tone.  Melanie looked up at him confused as she slowly picked herself up from the ground.  "Surely ye felt th' air heatin' up around ye and knew what was about to happen?"  Melanie tilted her head even more confused as she started to think about what just happened.  The air did indeed change, and she could feel the ground below her heating up before it errupted.  For a moment she thought it was a real incident where something like a small volcanic plume was about to burst from the ground, but now as she looked over to where the fire took place the plume had already died down and the ground had cooled leaving but a small patch of burned dirt in its place.  "Of course, it was a spell from the other thaumaturge!"  Melanie felt so dumb and breathed a small sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry" she said bashfully.  "I forgot that a thaumaturge could cast more than fireballs and thought it was a real incident."

"Th' real incident would've been ya bein' cooked like a roast dodo!" the mentor said exhasperatedly.

"I'm sorry mentor, I'll try harder" Melanie said lowering her head in embarassment. The mentor nodded acknowlegedly and signalled for the battle to resume.

"These trials seem to be less about fairness and more about just trying to catch me out with the unexpected" Melanie thought to herself.  "That mentor is enjoying watching me fail way too much.  I need to up my game, stop expecting the usual and be wary of my challengers using dirty tricks to try to make me stumble.  This is no longer just training, this is the real deal!"

No Pain No Gain

"Oww..." Melanie groaned as she collapsed onto a bed and stared up into the ceiling with a grimaced look on her face.  Despite having her wounds been tended to by conjurers she was still in a lot of pain from her training.  Every bone felt like it had been crushed and glued back together and every muscle beaten by a massive meat tenderizer.  Thankfully the owners of the Hall of the Novice had secured a room for her at one of the nearby cottages at Swiftperch rather than leaving her to make her way back to Limsa Lominsa as she was in no fit state to travel.

"Is this what a warrior goes through every day?" she thought to herself.   "Hydaelyn must've made a mistake in choosing me.  I honestly don't think I can really go through with this.  I'm not big on constant suffering in pain."  Melanie tried her best to turn her mind away from the pain and her self-doubts.  "I wonder how Reubemont and the others fared today."

Since Melanie's training went on so late by the time she left the hall her comrades had already set sail back to Limsa.  Her thoughts went back to hearing Reubemont in the other arena.  Other than the sound of weapons clashing against each other she didn't hear anything else after that and none of her comrades had contacted her via linkpearl all day.  It was already too late to check in on them now herself, besides she could barely raise an arm to her ears without wincing in pain.  Even a Manderville massage would've been out of the question.  All she wanted to do was just lie motionless and hope the pain would settle by next morning.

"How has the Warrior of Light managed to surive this long even after being smashed in by heavy robots 10 times the size of her when I can barely survive a day of being hit by small wooden swords?" Melanie questioned herself.  As she mulled over her thoughts her eyelids became very heavy and she fell into a deep sleep.

----

The next morning Melanie woke up to the smell of freshly grilled garlicky meat.  Her mouth watered at the scent that she couldn't wait to get out of bed.

"Yeouch!" Melanie yelped as she pushed herself up too quickly, forgetting that the previous night her body felt like she'd been run over by a truck repeatedly.   She hadn't even gotten out of her clothes from the previous day as she was too tired and too sore to undress.  Taking it easy she slowly picked up her belongings that she had dumped next to the bed and started to make her way towards the kitchen where the smell of grilled meat was coming from.  After having some rest she was now able to appreciate the surroundings of where she had been staying - a small stone cottage of minimal design with a few furnishings that had been imported from Limsa Lominsa.

Standing over a stove a young man was preparing some meat in a pan, searing it on both sides.  "Ah, you're awake.  How are you feeling today?" he asked as he caught sight of Melanie.

"Sore..." Melanie responded.

"Not surprising, you were barely able to get off the cart they brought you in on last night" he replied.  He flipped the meat one last time and then lifted it from the pan and placed it onto an empty plate.  "I've cooked us some dodo meat, I hope you're feeling hungry" he continued.

"I'm famished" Melanie said as her eyes followed the grilled meat towards a small rectangular dining table.

"Come, sit down and eat" the man gestured to her.  Melanie smiled greatfully and placed her belongings down on the floor next to a chair and took a seat at the table.  The man carried a couple of plates of dodo meat to the table and placed them down before taking a seat himself.  Melanie breathed in the scent of the meat before picking up a knife and fork and began to dig in.  Despite the wonderful smell there was something about the meat that didn't seem at all appealing.  It was a bit tough like a well cooked bland steak with a very mild fishy flavour.  The garlic didn't do it much justice either being the only dominant flavour.  Melanie lowered her knife and fork and raised a hand to her mouth as she began chewing away at the meat in her mouth.

Her host noticed her struggling to chew away at the meat.  "My apologies.  I understand not many visitors have tried dodo meat before, though it is a staple here as there's so many of them in the nearby hills that I forget it's not to everyone's liking.  Perhaps I might offer some salted fish instead?"

"No it's fine, you've been such a gracious host and it would be rude of me to want of more" Melanie replied.

"It's no problem, we have plenty of it in stock" the host commented.

"It's ok, once I'm used to the taste it's actually not that bad" Melanie insisted.  She swallowed down the dodo meat and cut a more smaller piece to make it a little more easier to chew on.

The host nodded as he watched her struggling less with the meat and continued to eat away at his meal.  "So, I hear you're one of those adventurers who might be going up against the newest residents of Satasha" he commented.

"That's what I'm hoping for" Melanie replied.

The host smiled a little as he looked up at her.  "Forgive me for being so observant, but you don't look like the type who goes around battling for adventure."

Melanie stopped chewing away at the meal and looked at him quizically.  "What do you mean?" she asked a little nervously.

"You come across as someone who wouldn't normally volunteer for this line of work, more like you're doing this out of duty or as part of a favour rather than as someone who's trained since being a child for this kind of life.  I get the feeling that you've never laid hands on a weapon until recently and that all of this is new to you."

Melanie looked down at the table and sighed.  "It's true, everything you said.  I feel like I've been forced into this, but at the same time it's my fault my friends are in trouble and I'm the only one who can help them, so it's my duty to learn what it is to become an adventurer and to free them from the mess I've left them in.  People keep trying to encourage me and for a brief time my spirits and confidence are lifted and I feel that I can do this, but then it all comes crashing back down again when I realise I'm really not cut out for this kind of thing."

The host nodded as he listened to her lament.  "And you're not wrong in that assessment" he responded.  "The fact you lack confidence in yourself is because you really aren't cut out for that kind of thing.  People around you can keep encouraging you but like you said that momentary boost of confidence is just temporary." 

Melanie lowered her knife and fork down as she mulled over his words.  He was right, she wasn't cut out to playing an adventurer running around hunting and fighting helpless animals.  The past couple of weeks had been fun but also exhausting both physically and mentally.  It still made her heart sink to kill an animal that was only fighting back to survive.  Her comrades may have tried to cheer her up over the numerous times they ventured together and reassured her that it was for the better good, but it still left a bitter taste in her mouth and she had to fight back the tears every time.  And now they were training even harder to fight against other people, not just animals.  It was all becoming a bit much for her to cope with.

"Then how do I stop the feelings of doubt and regret from coming back every time?  Because every time I take a life I'm overwhelmed with remorse over what I've done.  I feel it's wrong and that I have no right to decide what lives and what dies.  All life deserves a chance to live."

The host stopped eating and nodded at what she was saying.  "Well, first thing my friend is you need to stop telling yourself you can't do something even if it seems impossible, because once you tell yourself you can't do something you're sealing that deal.  Don't treat failure as an affirmation that you can't succeed, but treat it as a learning experience to try harder."

"Oh..." Melanie felt like a dumb hypocrite as she listened to his wisdom.  These were the very same words she had taught other people during raids in games and yet she struggled to apply them to her own life.  It was so much easier to give people advice than to apply it to herself.

"As for the regrets, you need to look at it this way.  If you want to become stronger to help your friends then there's only so much a target dummy can teach you.  Eventually you'll need to face your opponents whether they be man or monster, and unless you've had the experience and the strength to fight against whatever it is that's in your path then you don't stand a chance at surviving let alone winning.  It's either becoming stronger by fighting the wildlife before it becomes too numerous for us to be able to go outside safely or fight each other.  In my opinion the former is a better choice as it not only makes the roads more safer to travel but it provides food and materials to make clothes and tools with."

Melanie sighed again.  She knew he was right even if it still made her feel unhappy to admit it.  The host leaned forward more to catch her eye.  "If it helps make you feel better you could always offer a prayer to your gods to thank them for the life you've taken and for the bounty that life will render to others." 

Melanie looked up at him feeling a little more better with herself.  Of course, by making a prayer of thanks it would help cast away the regrets than just staring remorsefully at the corpses and bloodied fields.  It would be the most honorable thing to do to respect their life and their sacrifice so others can continue forwards.

"Brovola, are you there?" Reubemont's voice spoke into her ear through her linkpearl.  Melanie raised her hand to her ear and activated the linkpearl.

"Yes, I'm here."

"Ah good.  I was starting to worry when the innkeeper at Limsa said you hadn't checked in for the night. Where are you?"

"I'm over at Swiftperch.  One of the residents set me up for the night since I was a bit worse for wear after training."

"I see.  Are you okay now though?"

"Yes, I've had some time to recouperate and feeling a lot more stronger."

"That's good.  I guess we'll be seeing you over at the Hall of the Novice later today then."

"Mmm hmm."

"Right then, we'll start heading over after breakfast and be there within the hour."

click!

Melanie picked up her knife and fork and continued to chew away at the tough steak.  The host smiled a little as he was able to catch a glimmer of new found confidence and hope in her eyes.