Melanie took in a deep breath, inhaling the sweet fragrances of the various flowers that were in constant bloom atop the Royal Menagerie. She knew she was at one of the most highest points of Ala Mhigo atop the very mountains themselves, but the area was large enough for her to not start going into a panic. Nightfall was but a few short clicks away so some of the lights atop the tallest structures that were stretched across the canyon began to light up in the distance. Melanie wanted to move closer to see the marvel for herself but she knew if she got anywhere close to the edge she would collapse screaming.
The words of Zenos began to play in her mind as she started to remember the encounter with him and Shinryu. Images flickered in her head changing from the ingame graphics to realistic images as if she stood here in person, staring at his pale and crooked face and long fair golden hair that danced in the wind, the sound of tassles tapping against his steel boots. "The King of Ruin built this place for his foreign queen. He kept it filled with familiar creatures from her homeland." Melanie could imagine that the structures in the distance were once used for airships to bring in various creatures into the menagerie and supplies to the royal palace itself. Melanie then looked back to where Zenos was felled by her blade. Although the area had long since been repaired and flowers covered the once blood stained grass she could still see him lying there, bloodied and beaten, a content smile across his face as he choked on his own blood and gasped out his last words, "Oh, this... this moment... let it be enshrined for eternity. My heart...beating out of time... So clear, so vivid, so real... So real."
Melanie closed her eyes and shook her head trying to shake the image out of her head. She opened her eyes again to see the menagerie back to normal. She felt a deep sorrow for having taken the life of another, yet had she not done this he would've killed thousands maybe millions more and the people of Doma would've suffered greatly for it. It wasn't like she had any choice though, he sought her out to battle to the death. "But I wasn't really here, it was all in the game, so why do I feel this bad like I really did take someones life?" she thought to herself as she looked down at her hands.
The tall blue wooden doors that led back into the royal palace opened as Krile and Cid walked together into the menagerie. "Thank you for waiting up here" Krile said to Melanie, "you'll be pleased to know that Ephemie has already begun contacting various trusted bodies across Eorzea to help you with your training in confidence. Cid has also been successful at making arrangements for you to be able to return to Ul'dah."
"After some much deliberating with the palace guards we've been given permission for a small carrier to secure passage from the menagerie to the Bonanza. From there it's smooth sailing all the way to Thanalan without any worries of crossing wide gaps over deep canyons" Cid spoke to Melanie. He then lowered his head and scratched the back of his neck. "I must say, it feels rather strange talking to you now as a stranger. It's still hard to take it all in that you were never really here. Despite being the same person I still feel like I lost a good friend." Melanie looked down feeling sad at these words. She had no idea how to express how sorry she was. Cid then raised his head back up and walked up to her with a smile, putting a hand on her shoulder. "But if you are the same person then one thing I do know is that you will overcome all of this and be the champion you've lived yourself up to, because through strong will and determination you've always fought for what's right and no challenge too great has ever stood in your way."
Melanie stared at Cid's face trying not to look surprised and nervous. "Me, strong willed? That doesn't sound like me at all. Maybe I made a mistake and this is just going to go completely wrong, but I made a promise to myself to no longer think negatively and to try my hardest" she thought to herself. Her eyebrows arched upwards as she nervously tried to smile back. Cid's eyes then diverted behind Melanie. A mechanical whirring noise was heard from above and behind her. "Ah, here's our ride" Cid exclaimed. Melanie turned around to see what was making the noise.
From high above them a small airship hovered in the sky. An even smaller vessel propelled its way downwards from the airship towards them. Cid folded his arms and smiled as he looked upwards at the airship. "Would you look at that, the first non-Imperial airship to fly in years above Ala Mhigo" he said. Melanie looked up at the smaller vessel. From below it looked like a shiny silver and pink yacht with propellors at the rear flanks. It made her feel more nervous remembering that in this world there was no such things as seat belts and safety harnesses to prevent anyone from being just blown or thrown off should a vehicle suddenly tip over or need to take any evasive manouvering. Then again these people rode on gigantic birds with no safety harnesses either and would get tossed around like rag dolls. It was like an accident waiting to happen.
Cid noticed Melanie's look on her face and his smile lowered. "Don't tell me you can't even ride in something like that? We 'specially made a deal with the Ala Mhigans to allow for the Bonanza to bring you on board" Cid exclaimed in a disappointed tone.
"I'm so sorry" Melanie shook her head with a pained look on her face. "I know you're trying to help and I'm not wanting to come across as ungreatful. I've never ridden in anything like this before so I can't help but be nervous. Are you sure it's safe?"
Cid seethed through his teeth. "If Tataru were here right now she'd be in her right mind to throw you overboard and leave you to walk all the way to Thanalan" he said under his breath.
Melanie quickly backed down and looked a little sheepish. Cid pursed his lips together seeing her being so submissive, closed his eyes, then let out a sigh. "You're going to have to work on that confidence of yours as well as your fears if you're to live up to the name of a hero" he said a little more calmly as he opened his eyes. "If people see that you give in too easily then they will take advantage of that. Those you've already helped look up to you as their hero because they see a strength they don't see in themselves, but once they no longer see that strength then your reputation dies out along with that respect."
Melanie looked up at Cid trying not to despair over her worries. She knew she had absolutely no self-esteem or confidence in herself. Every time she tried to stand up for herself she was always pushed back down by others. Her entire time in school was wrought with bullying and shaming that she had given up on trying to defend herself. Even at home her mother had a hot temper and when Melanie couldn't hold her frustrations in any longer they often came out on her mother who would respond with zero tollerance for her behaviour. It got so bad she often avoided school or would slowly drag her feet to and from school, stay late in the library, sit alone in the park, hang around places where other people would be working just to quietly watch and listen, and then hide away in her bedroom when she finally got home. It was a relief when she finally got to leave home but her inexperience of the more harsher world left her open to abuse and before long she was having to move again after having her new home broken into and property stolen by her next door neighbour several times in a single month and a severely underpaid job with atrocious work conditions where her boss suggested she moved back in with her mother if she couldn't afford to pay her rent and bills on her less than minimum wage salary. If it wasn't for Tony she would not have coped and barely survived on less than 4 meals a week whilst suffering endlessly from constant IBS attacks and headaches from lack of eating. Those were some real tough days.
"How does one learn to become more confident when most of their life they've been put down and held down until they can no longer think for themselves?" she asked timidly. Cid looked at her again with a mixture of sympathy and surprise. He tilted his head up into the air as he started to think of how to answer her.
"I don't fully know the answer to that question, but I think I know what will help" he said after some pondering. "Your training will help you with it, but when you have some free time and you're not training I would suggest you pay a visit to the local repositories and read some of the tomes there detailing your acts. Read what people have said about you and how you've changed their lives, maybe even pay them a visit if it's safe for you to go and see for yourself how you've made their lives better." Cid then looked back down on her. "I know that in a manner of speaking it's not about you since you weren't physically there, but you still played a role in changing their lives, so accept their testimonies along with their gratitude and use it on your new adventures to help make a difference in other peoples' lives."
Melanie felt her body start to shake and tears well in her eyes. She really wanted to give Cid a big hug right now for his support but she didn't know how appropriate that would be. "Thank you Cid, that means a lot to me" she said fighting to hold the tears back.
The small vessel landed softly next to them and a cheery guy wearing the standard blue Ironworks Engineer's outfit flashed a big grin towards them. "Here's your ride. I'd suggest maybe just holding onto something real tight and closing your eyes" Cid suggested to Melanie as he patted her shoulder. Melanie nodded and walked over to the small vessel that she now recognised as a Manacutter only this one could accommodate 3 additional passengers. With a little effort she pulled herself over the edge and sat down on the soft red leather seat. Krile also leaped into the manacutter next to Melanie with no effort.
Melanie noticed that Cid wasn't coming on board and Ephemie was still nowhere to be seen either. "Aren't you coming on board with us?" Melanie asked Cid, who just shook his head.
"I've got my own ride" Cid responded. Melanie then looked at Krile.
"What about Ephemie?" she asked.
"She still has some matters to tend to here before she returns to Revenant's Toll" Krile replied.
"Oh..." Melanie sat back in the seat.
"ok ladies, hold on tight!" the pilot stated. The manacutter left the ground with a jolt and various mechanics could be heard as a couple of metal sails moved into place and locked into position with a loud clink. Melanie took Cid's advice and gripped the sides of the manacutter whilst closing her eyes tightly. She sucked in her lips and bit on them to avoid screaming as she felt the manacutter tilt back and start moving upwards. She started to make whimpering noises as they continued to climb until eventually she felt the wind change and the manacutter landed with a bit of a bump. The noise of chains reeling up was heard from behind her followed by what sounded like a large door closing.
"You can open your eyes now" she heard Krile's voice next to her. Melanie opened her eyes to see they were now inside the cargo area of the airship which was lit enough to see where they were. The pilot and Krile were already off the manacutter and walking around the sides. As Melanie climbed her way out to meet them Krile turned around and held a hand up in front of Melanie. "It's probably for the best if you stay down here, there's no other decks other than this and the top deck.
"Oh..." Melanie said a little saddened that she might be in here alone all the way to Ul'dah. Krile disappeared up a wooden stairway nearby with the pilot and Melanie climbed back into the manacutter and sat herself back down again.
"I suppose I could use this time to reflect on myself and how I possibly could become the Warrior of Light" Melanie thought to herself. "Cid is right, I need to work on my fears and insecurities or I'll be eaten alive out there. And what about those visions I had earlier...could I really be capable of taking the life of another even if they were also trying to kill me? I guess I hadn't really thought about that until now. The Warrior of Light doesn't just negotiate her way out of situations, she often has to fight her way through and that means killing not just monsters but also people. I've always been taught that killing other people is wrong and I've never as much as held a knife against anyone, but in this world it's dog eat dog. If I don't live by the blade then I will die by the blade. Whatever lessons I've been taught back on Earth I will need to forget if I'm to survive in this world, including religious beliefs."
As Melanie reflected on herself she then realised something. "Holy cow...I hadn't even thought about Eorzea's religion! They all worship various gods like Rhalgar and Azeyma and those gods have at times answered prayers, so does this mean those gods actually exist? Then what of my own...will he no longer be able to hear and answer my prayers anymore?"
Melanie quickly cupped her hands together, closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Please God, I don't know if you can still hear me from this part of the universe or dimension or wherever it is I am, and whilst I haven't received any affirmative sign that you've heard my prayers before I really need a sign now to know that you are out there and that you can still hear me and are looking out for me. If you can hear me I beg of you to please give me a sign."
Melanie waited several minutes hoping for an answer, but like always there was only silence. Exhasperated she opened her eyes, lowered her hands and let out a frustrated sigh. "So, it's gonna be like always then I guess?" she said in a quiet and defeated tone. "Anything at all, just something please!"
Several more minutes went by and Melanie had by now given up. "Either God isn't going to answer me or he can't" she thought to herself. "I may have to accept that I'll have to turn to the gods of these people, and whilst it is a sin to turn to other gods I don't think I have much choice. I hope he can forgive me."
Melanie cupped her hands together and closed her eyes again. "Azeyma...I know I'm not of your people and that I've invaded the body of one of yours, although by no means deliberately or with my consent, so please forgive me if you're angry with me for that. Thing is I'm scared of what happens from here on even if I have accepted this fate to become the hero of this world and beyond. I've always been scared, but not as much as these past couple of days and without assurance from the God of my own people I'm even more scared than ever that I may be completely alone out here. I really do want to help these people if this is what must be done, even if I don't have as much faith in myself to do that. I could use some guidance, something to give me hope other than visions of what's to come...something I can look at and know everything will be alright. So please, if it is in your will and heart, I beg of you to give me a sign that I may know what I'm doing is the right thing to do and that I don't have to be afraid anymore."
Melanie lowered her hands and opened her eyes and was still for several moments. Again there was only silence and Melanie let out a dejected sigh. She couldn't stay seated in the manacutter anymore, the silence was choking away at her even if she wouldn't be able to go up to the upper deck without screaming her lungs out. Lifting herself from the manacutter she hopped down and brushed her clothes straight. As she looked down something on the floor caught her attention. She bent down and picked up what appeared to be a perfect red rose which carried a strong and beautiful scent. Melanie's heart lept as she gazed at the flower as she recognised it instantly. It was an Azeyma Rose. Tears began to roll down her face at the realisation her prayer had been answered. "Thank you!" she gasped happily under her breath as she gently held the rose close to her chest. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
